Two prototypes of maternal attention/involvement across cultures
Instead of being bogged down on stereotypical classification of Japanese vs. Western type of mothering, I would like to propose two prototypes, one of which happens to be seen relatively frequently in Japanese household, whereas the other in Western household.
Type1. Close maternal presence, characterized by mother’s strong emotional attention to the child.
Type 2. Moderate maternal presence, characterized by mother’s “not so strong” emotional attention to the child.
We cannot ask why these two types are formed in different cultures. We just foresee how these two types affect child’s emotional growth.
Here are some theoretical implications in each of them.
As for type 1, a child, say a daughter might grow up and become independent due to the fact that she is given too much maternal care and she leaves her house in or der to escape her mother’ attention. Her fathers would not rescue her as he might be quite wrapped up with his own duties in his company. If she is lucky enough, she feels that she received fair enough or a little excessive maternal affection and care and is eager to take up her own life. In a sense, she “had it enough”. (Just the way that our friend’s son A did.) However, I would like to mention some of the risks and drawbacks related to this type of mothering. Many of my clients, especially female patients are quite often intensely angry with their mothers as they feel that they were not listened to by them. They feel that their mothers imposed onto them what they want their daughters to feel and think. Eventual resolution of their problem is quite often to encourage to cut their ties altogether, perhaps indefinitely.
As for type 2, as I often experienced in the United States, a daughter grows up in a environment where she is left alone. Quite often her mother is preoccupied with something else, other than her child. I do not know if there is any major drawback of the maternal care if mother’s emotional attention is just “not so strong”. However, it appears that there are more chances in that situation where a daughter might become a victim of emotional neglect or is exposed to any type of emotional trauma when she is not paid any due maternal attention. Many adult children might feel that if some mishaps occur to them, and they need some place for respite, their homes are not really the best environment as their parents have their own lives and they are not really ready to take up on their child-rearing tasks again.
In one of the episodes which struck me while I was practicing in the US, one of my patients was looking for a place to live without much success. He recently came home to our town from another state where he took a job but got depressed and could no longer stay there, and needed some help from their parents. His parents refused to take him back, even just temporarily, with the following excuse. “Unfortunately we don’t have any bedroom available for our son,” which somehow appeared to have sounded plausible for the local welfare authority as well.
