Doi’s notion of amae
Takeo Doi, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst proposed the concept of amae in his 1971 work, The Anatomy of Dependence (Doi, 1971) based on his trans-cultural experience in the United States. Amae, according to Doi, is to depend on others in harmony with them, typically when a child depends on his or her parents. It is crucial that the parents also experience amae vicariously while indulging their child. This mentality of amae forms the mainstream of one’s emotionality which stems from pre-Oedipal period and stretches throughout one’s life (Doi). Doi also explains that although is close to love, amae does not involve sexuality or ambivalence typically experienced in oedipal period. He also refers to passive object love proposed by Ferenczi and further discussed by M.Balint. Passive object love is expressed as a desire to be loved by others, which is a type of passive love and is closest to amae. Doi also makes a distinction between amae and dependence where the latter connotes a loss of control while in amae, the person requesting the indulgence is trying to gain full control of their environment.
Doi, T.( 2002) "amae" dictionary of psychoanalysis. Iwasaki Academic Publisher